In July 2011, I weighed 278 lbs. On Mar 12, 2013 I made the decision to qualify for the Boston Marathon. This was my journey. Now I'm a recovering alcoholic, this is my new journey. I'm still running a marathon, just a different type.
I already posted today, but while out doing errands, the weather was so nice and as I drove through my neighborhood, I had the urge to begin running again. I would start slow and work my way up. Probably no real races in my future, but I have lost 15 lbs in 2 months and feel much better and would like to get back into shape again.
So perhaps I could run again soon. I have a new pair of Hoka’s sitting in the entryway waiting for m\y feet!
When I return to work life, people might not recognize me
Here is the problem, I so identified myself as a “normal” person over the past 8 years of drinking at night, that they had no idea who I really was. The same was true of myself. I would get to work at 6:30 and work until 3:00 each day and would drink from 4pm to 4am with sleep off and on. I didn’t have any hangovers or leave any clue. I hid everything.
“My life at work was stressful to say the least. Without revealing too much, our doors never close and therefore neither did my job end at the end of the day. There was always the next text, email or call that I had to deal with. In over a decade I have not had a “normal” vacation. I was always on all of the time. Needless to say, it doesn’t take much to know that I couldn’t keep this up forever. Even going to Church was at times difficult as I would receive a text, “I need help”. I’d try to text back without being noticed, but by then my concentration was shot.
Homelife wasn’t much easier. With a special needs child turning into a man and other stresses, I could never stop. My child would never be happy with moving on when a difficult situation happened, they would freak, panic and in general, overwhelm everyone. I felt I had to be the one person to try and help, and most of the time I was not successful. Eventually I gained a lot of weight, at 5’9″, I was overweight for many years at 235 lbs. I tired running or working out, but it never seemed to stick. Finally in 2011 I topped 275 lbs, finally ending at 278 lbs, therefore the name of this blog. My wife was going to a doctor who looked at me and said he could help me also. He put us both on a diet and we both lost ~100 lbs. By the time I got to 220 lbs, I began running very slowly. I was able to do 2 miles pretty well and kept at that for a while. I then upped it to 3 miles every other day. Then 3 miles Monday – Friday with a 5 mile run on Saturday. That became my plan. I would run 5 days at the same mileage and then up it by 25% on Saturday. Soon I was topping 50 miles a week, I had a PR in a 5k at 20:48 and my half marathon PR was 1:43. Needless to say, it was during this time I lost the rest of my weight and got to 178 lbs.
Then my running career ended with the injury that I mentioned at the beginning of my first post in many years called, “The upcoming change in my life“.
Somewhere in the time of my short running career the stress from home and work caught up to me and I began drinking. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I remember ending my daily runs with a drink (not Gatorade like people thought). I would always run in the afternoon after work and so it seemed okay at the time.
Here I sit, 2.5 week sober after 8 years and temped so many times to drink, but not really. I feel the urge at the end of a day or at some other point when I would normally say my day had ended, but honestly, I really have no desire to return to that life. My work has taken a lot of pressure off of me in the past month or so and I cannot say more how thankful that I am to my lovely wife who had become my helpmate and rock during this time. Finally my children have moved out and really I had no reason to drink, other than the habit I developed over the 8 years.
Here I sit. I head back to work, 2 weeks from Monday. Who will I be when I return. After a month of no stress, no phone calls, no emails or texts, how will I do when I return. I will be kind and helpful as always, but I will no longer try to handle stress that is impossible to handle. So many people have been so wonderful to me, I would feel like I betrayed their kindness if I turned back. So I will need to figure this out before then. My therapist is giving me help to get through the day suggesting trips to the gym and also helping with cooking dinner which does interest me. I have 2 more weeks before I return, but that will go by in a flash and then I will have to be the new me, not the old me.
Back to the question, “Will anyone recognize me when I return to work?” I’m not sure. I have already had people remark how “light” my lovely wife and I look to them, “You and your lovely wife just seem lighter to us” my friend mentioned. Obviously the storms will come and I will need to take my place on the bridge of the boat, but I must learn to lead and not just run around wiping up the water.
I will need to lead. Strength and leadership is what I have been learning on this break. In two weeks everyone will see how successful I have become at both!
I hope to show them the NEW NORMAL version of who I am. This is a lifetime change, so how will they react? To some extent, I really don’t care.
Sunday, TJ and I ran the Mercedes Half Marathon in Birmingham. Looking back, it was an awesome experience in so many ways. I’m going to try and write several short posts about it over several days rather then a really long post.
My prep for this race was non existent. Life got in the way and unlike any other half marathon or my 1 marathon, I did no training or workouts. So for me this race was all mental. I knew my physical conditioning wouldn’t bring me though. Here are the “Mental Leaps” I had to take to actually run this race.
Getting to the starting line. The race registration was a Christmas gift from TJ (thanks TJ), but my race prep was non existent. I have a lot of excuses, but non that matter. Basically, I have been working crazy hours since last Spring and helping my Lovely Wife a lot as she hasn’t been feeling well. Many days I’ve been working / erranding for 12 hours before I get a chance to run. With it getting dark early and my hectic schedule, I end up only running 3-4 miles a day. So the race itself was a huge fear for the last couple of months. I even told my Lovely Wife that perhaps I’d show up and after TJ started the race, I’d go somewhere to sit and wait for him to finish (just not tell him that was my plan). She didn’t think that was a good idea. But after the expo and talking with TJ, I decided to run the race and if need be, have a van take me back to the finish. At least I’d try, fears and all!
The 7 mile stretch. I haven’t run over 7 miles for about a year. Most days at 7 miles my joints and hips just shut down. The pain gets pretty severe. So on race day I knew at 7 miles I’d be half way through the race… A major mental leap for me. The problem was that at 7 miles of running that morning, I was only at mile marker 5! TJ and I ran 2 miles before the race just looking for a porta potty. The only bathrooms were inside a nearby building and the line was a mile long. We ran one direction and then the next. Finally I asked a police officer and he said, “They are at 18th and 8th”. I then got turned around and we ran the wrong way for 3 blocks. When we found the potty, we used them, ran back to the line and… I realized I was too hot. I had 2 jackets on as it was cold, but all that running made me realize I was over dressed. So we ran 2 blocks back to the car, then back to the potty and back to the starting line. 2 miles of running and the race hadn’t even started. Ugh.
The Gu strategy. My last half marathon nearly 2 years ago, TJ was pacing me. He was an awesome pacer and he would give me a Gu every 3 miles to help me get the PR that I made that day. So I tried to follow that same strategy during this race. At mile 3 I got 2 Gu’s. I put one in my pocket and eat one. My “mental leap” was to keep looking forward to the next third mile. At mile 5 when they gave out more Gu, I passed them up as I had one in my pocket. Finally at mile 6 (mile 8 to me) I reached in to get my Gu and it was gone. It must have fallen out of my pocket. This was not good. Just as I started to panic, there was someone giving out Gummy Bears. 🙂 I got a couple and at mile 7 an awesome little girl gave me more Gu. I survived another mile.
The half way point. I made it half way. It was not as bad as I thought. I was trying to keep a 9:00 pace and was close to keeping that goal. I ran the tangents like a pro. Every inch that I could save I knew I would need. At 6.5 miles I was still nervous and not sure I’d might need to walk some, but the goal I created at this point was to keep running and not walk during the race. Miles 6-9 were pretty much up hill so I was beat, but this was the first point I thought I might finish the race. I knew I was in new territory as I had now run 8.5 miles (with our potty runs) and my body hadn’t done that for a year.
Mile 9 and mental gymnastics I knew now I’d make the goal of completing the race and not walking. But I’d have to do some brain tricks to keep going and I felt like I was fading. I eat my Gu, I drank gatorade and kept going. I would think to myself, “Only 4 miles to go”. I’d think, “You made it past mile 8” – thus the mental gymnastics. Each mile I’d be surprised that I was at that mile as I kept my brain a mile in the past. I know this sounds crazy, but it helped being surprised that I was at mile 9 when I was thinking I was at mile 8.
A new goal at mile 11 So far I made it to the starting line, I kept close to my 9:00 pace, but the hills set me back a bit. I didn’t walk and I knew I’d finish. My new goal at mile 11 was my biggest of the day. According to the race clock, I was going to be just over 2 hours at my finish. I knew I’d have to get below my 9 minute pace to beat 2 hours. I was tired and my legs were killing me, but I sped up my pace. I figured in my head that I had to be close to an 8:30 pace for the next 2.1 miles and I decided to go for it. At the start of mile 12 my pace was down to 8:50. I had to run faster if I was going to do this. My 13th mile (15th with my potty run) I felt like walking. I was really hurting. I heard the finish announcers finally. It was a LONG mile. My app told me at mile 13 that I was at an 8:37 pace for that mile. I entered the finish shoot. I gave it all I had…
I crossed the finish line at 1:59:56!
All the mental leaps. All the fear. All the running. The cold. The Gu. The awesome runners and volunteers. This was the most fun I’ve had in a half marathon ever. No PR – In fact I was about 18 minutes slower then my PR. But I finished the race, I didn’t walk, I made it under 2 hours. And in front of me was a battered TJ, all bandaged up from a fall at the finish line.
This is why I love running. That 4 seconds under my goal. Had I made one stop, had I walked, had I not pushed as much as I could that last mile – It all came down to 4 seconds.
Life keeps moving at such a fast pace, it gets harder and harder to find time to write.
Summer running stinks!
I hate hot, 100 degree runs. In fact, most days it is just 90 – 95, but with the humidity it can be as much as 15 degrees hotter outside. Add black asphalt and a 3:00PM run, and – well you get the point.
So I’ve made some changes.
I’ve started playing tennis with TJ a couple times a week for the past few weeks. It has been a lot of fun and it is much easier to play tennis for an hour or two in 100 degrees then to run 5 miles.
Also, RS has made incredible progress at the Y lifting weights and working out. In 3 months he went from a fairly normal, slightly overweight teenager to six pack abs and thin and trim. I must say that although I never wanted to cross train or do anything but run, now I see the value. So I’ve joined the Y with him and yesterday was our first workout. Needless to say, I can’t lift my arms above my head today, LOL. Actually as he was showing me what he does, an Iraq war vet came over to help. He basically told me that I needed to start slow, get a balance and be patient for about 3 weeks. Once I was able to lift a bar without weights for 3 reps of 20, then I could move on. I could tell he knew what he was talking about. We didn’t stay to long as I needed to meet TJ at the tennis courts, but it was a good beginning. After being at the gym for 45 minutes, I proceeded to play 90 minutes of tennis.
So my quest for the long run and another marathon is on a bit of a hold while I adjust to my new routine. I’m not stopping running all together though. I’ll run 2 -3 times a week and do other exercise the rest of the week. My goal is to get through the summer without giving up on my 3+ years of fitness and weight loss. I honestly think if I tried to go through a 4th summer of just running in the afternoon heat, I would have just given up.
Life keeps moving at the speed of light. I’m just trying to keep up!!!
Life has been hectic. I was in Louisiana for a week doing a work project. Let me say, I only ran once while there and that was my first run ever on a treadmill. Just sayin… I’m not a fan. That was the Sunday I arrived. After that, I worked 14 – 15 hours each day and just couldn’t bring myself to get up to run on that machine again.
This last week was my first full week of running since I last wrote. The week before my trip I was able to average 7 miles a day for 6 days. Not bad for me. In fact the only week I ran that much in the past was during marathon training. On top of everything it was very warm out, but I wanted to push it (time wise, not speed wise). Last week, I felt like I had lost everything. I was tired and it was tough outside with humidity. TJ and I did a hill run on Monday that was harder then any other run I’ve had in a long time. The week of running was simple 2 – 5 mile runs, but it was difficult.
So the week off really messed with my running. No exercise, not much water, and not much walking either. Just spending all week in from of my laptop programming.
This week is a new week. I had a relatively good run yesterday morning. It was hot, but I did get in 5+ miles. I’m doing my best to break the 4 mile summer barrier I hit last year during the heat. Today is another hill run with TJ and then just normal runs. I have another business trip though that might mess things up a bit. Normally I wouldn’t be worried as it is only a few days, but after having a full week off of running and now a few more days off, I’m going to have to be really careful, especially with my weight.
Have an awesome week. Hopefully things slow down after this week and I’ll get back to writing. I’ve missed blogging and keeping up with my blog running friends. Right now it is all I can do to write.
Honestly, I guess I’ve overdone it a little, but I had good reasoning.
Sunday I went out for a long run at our state park. I ran 8.8 miles. I didn’t look at my watch, but I ran until I couldn’t run anymore. It was hilly and the temperature was okay when I started, but had gone up 10 degrees by the time I finished. I also had negative splits, so that made me feel better. I really wanted to run long and not stop at 4 miles.
Monday was my hill run day with TJ. We usually run between 7 – 8 miles and 6 of those miles are large hills. It was probably the toughest run of the Spring so far. It was hot (near 90) and I had just run nearly 9 miles the day before with a lot of mountain hills. I came home from our run and just sat for an hour throwing the stick with the dog and drinking my Gatorade.
Tuesday was an impromptu longer run. I ended up at 7.3 miles. I didn’t really go in my normal route of running in the park. I just ran in different directions, got lost in my thoughts and finished when I thought I should.
Wednesday I tried to see if I could get in another 8 mile run. I did make 6.2 miles, so it was a good 10K, but my legs were so tired and I was so hot, that I just didn’t think I should push it.
I wrote a few days ago that last year I got into a 4 mile Summer rut (I called it survival mode). I really want to break free of that this year. I hate running in the heat, but I also know I can get used to it and I can make it though without crashing and burning like I did at the end of last Summer.
You’re body gets a memory and it will get used to what you give it. If you eat junk, it wants junk. If you always run 4 miles, it won’t want to go 5. It really is amazing. For instance, I have gotten into the habit of drinking 32 oz of water every morning after I wake up. Now my body craves it. I even drank it before my last 5K because I have to have my morning water. That is one reason I’m running more. I want my body to get used to running in the heat and deal with it better. Also I want to get past a weight plateau I’ve had since my last business trip to New Orleans. This week of longer running has really helped.
Finally, be careful running in the heat. People die in the Summer by running and not being hydrated. I usually drink 96 oz of water during the day before my run and another 32 after my run. I also have slowed down my pace to deal with the increased mileage and the heat.
As my wife says everyday before I head out for my run, “BE WISE” (and yes, she says it with that emphasis).
It fascinates me as a runner how much the brain is used in running and how much “memory” occurs during a run.
For instance, last summer I got into a rut of running 4 mile runs. It was hot and I run at 2:00 in the afternoon. I was in survival mode and just wanted to hang on for cooler weather. So for 3 months I’d run 4 miles each day. However, when cooler weather prevailed, I had the hardest time getting past 4 miles. I was in good shape, but almost exactly at the 4 mile mark, my body would shut down and I’d have to stop. Finally I ran with TJ on a traditional 7 mile run on Christmas day and was able to begin to break free of the 4 mile blockage – but it was hard.
I blame this rut on my brain. Of course I could have gone 5 miles or more at any point, but my whole body would just stop when it was trained to stop at 4 miles.
Let me give another example. Over 3 years and 3,500 miles of running, I kept my cell phone in my right hand to track my runs. I take it on every run; every 5K and even on my full and half marathons. I’m used to having it in my hand. This winter I decided to try and teach myself to switch hands during my run. This was partly due to a light wrist sprain and partly to see if I could reteach myself to hold my phone in my left hand. So while running I would suddenly remember to put my phone in my left hand. After a while, without noticing, it was back in my right hand. I’d then put it back in my left and then it would reappear in my right. This went on and on for a month or so. I would never remember putting my phone in back in my right hand. Eventually I retrained my brain to notice when I would move it from my left hand to my right hand. I’d then purposely move it back. Finally I was successful in moving my phone to my left hand and leaving it there until I decided to move it back. I know this is a minor example, but it demonstrates how I retained my brain.
Simply put, do the thing your want to do and do it over and over again. When you fail at it, do it again. Eventually you will retrain your brain to notice and then you can finally break the habit.
I’m relating this to running, but it works in almost any area of life. Bad habits can be broken and good habits installed by just doing and failing and doing and failing until you just do it!
Retraining my brain has helped me become a runner, eat better, lose 100 lbs, change my work habits and live a better life.
Just don’t be afraid to fail. Failure is the beginning of success. Failure means you have tried. If you never try, you will never fail, but you will also never succeed.
If you try again every time you fail, get up every time you fall, keep moving forward with your goal, you will see the success you want to obtain.
After 4 months, I have finally finished a major project at work and on Saturday, I ran my first 5K since January.
What is interesting isn’t the 5K, but the short training I did leading up to the 5K.
I have been doing hill runs for about 3 or 4 months with my son. We go out each week and run 6 – 7 miles of hills in a neighborhood next to ours. These hills are big and exhausting. Sometimes (like yesterday) I don’t know how I’m going to make it home. All in all the runs are about 8 miles.
Rewind to last week. With our 5K on Saturday I started to really get concerned. I had increased my mileage a lot over the winter, but had also slowed my pace. In fact in April of 2014 I averaged just over an 8:30 pace. This April I was closer to 9:45. This slow down was intentional. I really wanted to gain mileage, build my base and stop getting hurt. I accomplished all three!
With the 5K less then a week away I was concerned that my slow pace would really mess my race up. Monday last week I ran hills run with TJ. Tuesday I just ran 4 miles. I was tired to say the least. I finished my run and noticed that I ran near a 10:00 pace. I was so disappointed. I wondered if my 22 minute 5K were over for good.
Then it dawned on me. I had just finished my run. I was breathing heavily and tired. But in less then a minute my breathing returned to normal and my heart rate slowed right down. Hmmm, I thought. If I can recover in less than a minute, maybe I’m in better shape then I thought. So Wednesday I went out for another run. I started slowly the first mile as I always do, but I ran faster then my normal first mile. I got into the second mile and picked up my pace. The last two miles I ran much faster with my last mile under 8:00. I was tired and breathing heavily, but once again, as soon as I finished I recovered. By the time I got to my car to go home, I was breathing normally. Thursday was the same. I ran, I recovered and I felt fine.
So the hill runs and the distance runs did what I wanted. They build my base and gave me the ability to run hard and not get hurt and recover quickly. I simply lacked the confidence and speed work to get me going faster for my 5K.
How’d the 5K go? I ran it slower then my usual pace a year, but I also ran it 1:13 faster then my 5K in January. I came in at 23:20, 2nd in my age group and 33rd overall out of 500 runners. I’m pretty happy about that considering I had only 2 speed workouts and had gained some weight during my 4 month project.
I am going to keep doing what I am doing. I’m going to add some speed workouts in the mix to train my body (and brain) to run faster. I’m going to lose the 5 lbs I gained and try to bring my time down below 22:00 this year.
Hopefully this will help someone else in a similar situation. Listen to your body and your recovery. It may be telling you something that your brain is not!
Working 14 hours a day. Family, church… Not much else other then running.
I promised a while ago to post my “secret” about how to run better and more efficiently. Today, I’m keeping my promise. I waited a while as I wanted to make sure my progress wasn’t just psychological. I think running has a lot to do with psychology and I also think that with time, psychological effects will make themselves evident. After time, what remains is what really helps. What I am posting is the one thing that has made the biggest impact on my running in the past 3 years…
This isn’t a huge thing. In fact, I bet I’ve posted about this sometime in the past 3 years. Sometimes the best and most impactful things seem the most trivial. It just takes an event to make them come to the forefront and make an impression.
Okay… here it goes… My secrete is…
Just kidding (sort of).
For the first mile of every run, pay the most attention of any other mile of your run. The first mile is the most critical. It is the mile that will affect all other miles. Run loosely. Run easy. Run slowly.
During the first mile of each run, never let your heart beat fast. If you end up running a 10 minute pace, or a 15 mile pace, just run slowly. Make sure your body stays loose. Continually think about your neck, shoulders, arms and legs. Just keep loose. Keep your heart rate slow. Keep it easy and slow.
That’s it. That one thing, the first mile, has changed my running in a way nothing else has in 3 years. After that first mile, I run as fast or slow as I want. I just keep trying to keep my shoulders and body loose and free of stress. I keep trying to run loose and easy.
Each Saturday morning I run my long run. Most Saturday’s I run 13 miles, but about every 3rd or 4th Saturday, I run 10 miles to give my body a break. This last “easy” Saturday, I ran 10 miles and for the last 2 miles I ran hard. I was able to run those miles at marathon pace (BQ marathon pace) and most miles were negative splits. I credit my first mile with this success. I worked hard at running slow. I ran my first mile at a 10:16 pace. My last mile was at a 8:15 pace. Ahhh. Looking back, it was a great run.
Try it for yourself and let me know how it goes. Do this consistently and you will see a change that will transform your running like nothing else you have tried.
I started this journey at 278 lbs. My running began after a physician directed diet that brought my down to 220 lbs. I now weight 186 lbs.
Running isn’t easy for me. Starting my running career at 49 years old and having been in horrible shape, my running is almost always accompanied by pain. I run with hip pain and heel pain most of the time. I don’t know if it is a good thing or not, but the hip and the heel are on opposite sides of my body.
Over the past 3500 miles I’ve learned a lot about myself. I don’t listen to music while I run, so it is just me out there. I can be a boring person to run with by myself. LOL. I have learned to do things while I run. I pay more attention to my surroundings, I pray, I say hi to people I pass. I try not to think of the next hour or two that I’ll be pushing myself and try to distract myself in anyway I can.
During my runs I have solved a lot of problems. It may be the oxygen getting to my brain, it may be the quite and the fact I have nothing else to do but think. I will say that most of my good ideas and problem solving have occurred during my runs over the last 3 years.
Just some philosophical musings from a 3 year runner.
Yesterday’s run went great and I have a new system for running that seems to be working well. I’m going to try it a few more times and then I’ll post it for everyone. So far, I’ve done this for 3 runs (4, 13 and 8 miles) and my runs have been better, stronger and I’ve felt better afterwards. Check back in a few days and I’ll tell you my system if it keeps working for me.
It has been a great couple of months running… with no purpose to run. I have no races planned, no “reason” to run. I have, however, run more miles in the past two months then anytime in the past 18 months.
My run plan has changed. I used to have a plan I posted on this blog each week. That stopped after I crashed and burned post marathon. Now my plan is simple and consistent. It works for me, so here it is (if you care 🙂 ).
Monday: 8 mile hill run. This is about building my strength and helping my back and hip. I credit this weekly run with the reason I have been able to run so much the past 2 months. Also, Monday is the beginning of my running week and it is motivational to have an 8 mile run and a hill run out of the way first thing.
Tuesday through Thursday all depends on my run cycle. I run 2 long weeks and 1 short week and then repeat. On my long weeks I try to get in 2 – 3 eight mile runs a week with shorter runs in between. On short mileage weeks I generally stay at 4 miles a day for the rest of the week until my long run on Saturday.
Friday: I try to keep Friday short. Usually about 4 miles. The main reason is Saturday morning is my long run and my run Friday is late afternoon. I can still “feel” my Friday run on Saturday morning, so I try to take it easy.
Saturday: Long run: At the moment, on my long weeks I run 13 miles on Saturday morning and short run weeks are 10 mile Saturday’s. This has been huge for me as running a 13 mile run each week has never happened for me in the past three years. It puts my 8 mile runs in perspective and really helps finish the week off on a good note.
Sunday: This is to be a day of rest and letting my body heal for the hill run I’ll do on Monday. However, Sunday is the only day RS and I can ride trails at the state park, so generally we will do that for an hour or so Sunday morning.
So that is my run plan. At the moment, I run 45 – 50 miles on long weeks and 30 – 35 miles on short weeks.
Really I do have a goal. My hope is that I’ll finally developed a base to run more miles and keep injury free. So far so good. I’ve slowed my pace down about a minute a mile and increased my mileage by about 1/3 over the winter. I REALLY want to run another marathon this year, and though I’d love to BQ, I am not obsessing about that right now. One day I may make it to Boston (maybe), but if I don’t have good form and a strong base, it will stay a dream and never become a reality.
Sorry for the longer then usual post, but I’m sitting in an airplane on a trip to visit my mom. I haven’t seen her or my brothers since the day after my Marathon 18 months ago, so I am really looking forward to it.
Be safe. Run your own plan. Get help from others, but know that running isn’t done in a cookie cutter fashion. Fine your spot, run your plan and you will succeed.