mental-health

by

A good run on a bad day

Have you ever had one of “those days”?

Yesterday was one of “those days” for me.  No issue with anyone in particular.  My work went well and my family was well, but I felt lousy. Angry. Bugged. Unhappy.  Really there was no reason for my mood.  I guess it was just a Monday.

So what could I do? I got home from work and ran as hard as I could. Well not as hard as I could, but hard.

My first mile is usually a warmup mile and not very fast, but yesterday it was run at 8:01 and half of that was up hill (of course the other half was down hill 🙂 ).

photoSunday and yesterday was the first time since March that had two consecutive days under an 8:15 pace per mile.  It really did feel good.  I pushed my run hard for the first two miles making the second mile at a 7:34 pace.  The third mile was slower and I was tired.  However, I was able to keep my pace at 8:46 and the fourth mile at 8:29.  Finally the last small part of my run (about a tenth of a mile) I sprinted at my 5K pace of 7:12.

This is what was so hard about last week.  I had no outlet.  I had no way to work off my mood.  I just had to walk and suffer through.  To be honest for most of my marathon training I wasn’t able to really push my workouts.  It was so hot and humid that I had to take things slow.

Now I feel like things are getting back to normal.  I doubt I’ll keep this pace up.  8:12 for 4 miles is a goal pace, but the heat is returning this week and also my left achilles and top of my right foot aren’t the best.   Still it is good to know that I still have strong running in me.  And with a 10K a month away, I really want to work up to 6 miles at an 8:00 pace.

It is strange to be almost a month removed from my marathon and having so many other blogs I read with people just beginning their taper.  Once again, good luck to you all.  I’m pulling for you!

by

How do you deal with a bad day when you can’t run?

Yesterday was a particularly rough day.  It was one of those days where you know that a good run is “better than therapy”.   One of those days where you would barely get out of the door with your running gear on before you are off running as hard as you can just to get the junk out of your head.

For me, yesterday was a day of frustration.  Yes, the day was difficult, but the frustrating part of the day was the fact I can’t run until Friday.

Seriously?!?

I could have set a PR.  I could have run so hard and so long.  I could have run off the day.  I could have saved my mind and my body a lot of stress if I could just have gone for a run.

I walked.

I walked for hours.

I walked along highways with no shoulders.  At times I was inches from cars on a two lane road.  I had to leave the neighborhood and there aren’t many areas to walk nearby and I didn’t want to drive somewhere.  I was careful though and most of the time stayed a few feet from the traffic.  Cars were considerate and moved over for me when they could.  At one point I slipped on pine straw, but I caught myself and was fine.

Finally after miles of walking I headed home.  This walk helped.  I’m glad I could walk and I am thankful I am in shape.  I had no fear of doing “too much”.  I just walked off my day.

I miss my running.  I think some of my problems from the day was the fact I haven’t really run much in the past month.  I was hurt the week before my marathon so I didn’t run.  I was too sore to run (or even walk) the week after my marathon.  Now I had to take a week off for other reasons.  I guess I’m having endorphin withdrawal.  🙂

Tomorrow my hiatus from running is over.  I can run as much as I want.  I already have a 6 mile run planned with my friend Neill on Saturday.  I’m looking forward to that.

We take so much for granted in this life.  I never knew how much of my mental well-being was tied up in running.  I never knew until yesterday how much I NEED running.  I have been transformed into a runner and I cannot go back.

by

Discipline through running

I have never been a disciplined person.

As far as I can tell, discipline is simply doing something without feeling the desire to do it.

I was in a meeting at work this week and we were talking about personality types.  Making a long story short, I mentioned that I have always lacked discipline and people laughed at me.  One person said that I was the most disciplined person that they knew.  It was then that I realized that my running had created discipline in me.  It wasn’t a natural trait to me, but had become a learned trait.

When I run in rain, sleet, snow, cold, hot or any other type of weather, or just when I run when I don’t feel like it, I become more disciplined.  I have read somewhere that the brain physically changes when we do new tasks and do them repeatedly.  I think this is true.

I’ve got something to confess.  I have been more irritated lately at my kids.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have great kids and they are all older, but if I ask them to do something and they give me an excuse as to why they cannot do it, I get annoyed.  After working through my thought process I wrote above, I think it is because I have learned to do things without excuse.  This doesn’t mean I do everything I am asked to do or do it without complaint.  I have learned, however, that I can do anything I set my mind to.  Running has brought me to this point.

I guess if I can make my 50 year old body run 26.2 miles then I know pretty much anything is possible.

Discipline is the key.  Doing something without feeling the desire to do it.  My definition, but I think if everyone developed discipline in their lives, this world would be a much better place in which to live.

Putting that in a different way, if everyone were a runner, life would be much easier.  🙂

by

Sometimes life is like a long run…

Sometimes life reflects running – or it may be the other way around.

Have you ever been on a long run and thought of the miles ahead of you and just wanted to stop?  It isn’t that you feel badly or that you are tired, but just the magnitude of the task ahead of you seems to take all the air out of your sails.  In the end, you keep going and finish the run and are better for the experience.

Yesterday was that type of day for me.  No, I didn’t run, but I planned on walking 4 or 5 miles.  That just didn’t happen.

I got up at 4:00 AM and got to work by 5:30.  During work things got hectic.  The one good part of the day was lunch with @BigBigGeek and getting to hear his half marathon recap live and in person.  I love talking about running.

Back to my day.  I got a call from my son that he had a migraine.  He lives with debilitating headaches, so if he calls and says it is bad, then it is really bad.  I had him make a doctor appointment and then had to figure out how to get done with my work and take him to the doctor.  My Lovely Wife’s back is acting up again, so she was at home in bed trying to get some relief.

After the doctor, I took my son home and then had to go back out and get some prescriptions.  Of course our main pharmacy didn’t have one of the prescriptions, so I had to head over to another pharmacy.

Finally I got home near 5:00 PM, too exhausted to walk and just fell into bed.

I’ve had stressful days before but there were a lot of frustrations and things happening that I didn’t write about here.

Anyway, on to my premise.  Sometimes life is about endurance.  You might be on mile 5 of 20 and thinking, how am I getting through this.  I guess it’s that runner’s mindset that helps me deal with stressful days now.  I am getting used to being at the base of a mountain and having to look up and wonder how in the world am I ever going to get to the top.

So reason #162 of why I love running…  It helps me overcome issues in life and deal with the mountains.

I figure if I can run 26.2 miles, I can deal with a difficult day.

I’m glad I run.

by

NEVER QUIT

Running has taught me a lot about life.

I was getting ready to head out for my long run Sunday and not looking forward to it.  It was 5:15 and I was getting my water and GU together to put in my mailbox for my refill on my 4 mile loop.

I looked at twitter and saw something that stuck with me the entire run.  At the time, I read it and moved on.  I thought it was insightful, but I didn’t retweet or favor it.  I wish I had.  I looked again and couldn’t find it.

So here is the gist of that tweet that I pondered during my run and that helped me go 20 miles:

You’ve gotten this far
You’ve suffered this long
Don’t quit
Finish the course

As I said, I passed over this tweet, but I still cannot let it go.  Funny how things like this stick in your head and you don’t realize the implications until you are in that situation and it pops up before your eyes!

My run on Sunday was the most difficult physical experience of my life.  I am not athletic.  I wanted to quit.  I wanted to give up.

  • At mile 10 I was thinking, “Maybe I should just tell TJ that I am going to run the marathon and then at the last minute not run it so that he will enjoy the race and I wont spoil it for him.”
  • At mile 12 I thought, “If I feel this way after 12 miles, how can I do 26 in 4 weeks.”
  • At mile 16 I thought, “I got this far, I have to do 20.”
  • At mile 18 I thought, “I don’t care if I have to crawl, I WILL MAKE 20 MILES!”
  • At mile 20, walking in the early morning heat, exhausted, literally soaked from my hat to my shoes, I wanted to cry.

I made it.  Never in my life did I think I would one day make my body travel 20 miles on foot.  It wasn’t pretty.  I walked the last two miles, but I made it.

I want to end this post the way I started it.  Running has taught me a lot about life.  Life isn’t easy.  In fact, many days (before I started running) I lived my life at mile 12…  “Maybe I should quit.”  “This is too hard.”  “How am I going to get through the day?”

Now, I live my life at mile 18, “If I have to, I will crawl though this life to finish this race!”

Lesson learned.  By the grace of God I will run this race, I will finish 26 miles, I will run or crawl, but I will finish.

Obviously that last sentence has a duel meaning to me now.

Running has taught me a lot about life.

by

Long run chatter. The Voice! I hate that Voice!

I was 10.25 miles into my long run.  Frankly I was surprised I made it that far, but I needed to make another 7-8 miles.  There was a lot going against me.

First, I am still not over my sinus infection.  It is better, but not gone and it hit me hard Saturday night and I woke up Sunday feeling tired and a little sick.

Then there is the 5K I ran just 24 hours before.  I ran as hard as I could and I have never been able to run the day after a 5K because my body is way too sore.

Finally had I just drank water, had some Cliff Block Chews and I ran my tenth mile way too fast.  My thoughts were, “maybe I should call it a day”.  “I still have 5 weeks before my marathon”. ” Who would criticize me for running 10 miles after such a busy weekend”.

Then my phone rang… It was my work… I had to help someone with an IT issue.  I stopped running.  I talked on the phone for 10 minutes.  In the mean time, TJ ran past me on his run and another runner ran past.  I finished the call.  I stood there thinking,  “What do I do?”  I was tired and hot.  It was getting close to 80 degrees and 90% humidity.  I was soaked.

One more mile, I decided.  I’ll run one more mile and see how I feel.  I’ll slow down a bit, try to run relaxed, not push.  After all, 11 miles is better than 10.

I finished that one mile and went for another.  I finished that and then another.  By the time I finished, I made a distance PR of 17 miles.  2 miles farther than I have ever run.  I also managed to keep an average pace of 9:15/mile.  I am so glad I didn’t give into that voice.

THAT VOICE!

I hate that voice.  It talks to me on all my long runs and hard workouts.  It is constantly telling me to give in.  Give up.  There is always tomorrow.  You are tired.  You are hot.  Today is just a bad day.

NO!

I have decided that that voice is not my friend. Yes I have to be wise and if I get hurt, I’ll know I am hurt.  But there is no way for me to run a marathon in 5 weeks if I let that voice be my friend any longer.

So I am going to work my hardest to ignore this voice and move forward.  My goal is to run this race and do my best.  However if I bring this voice along with me, I will just live in fear the whole race.  My goal for the next 5 weeks is to silence this voice and move forward confidently and wisely and make the right choices based on fact and not on “a voice”.

Today is my off day.  I have a trip to the chiropractor this afternoon and then I hope I can rest for the evening.  It was a great weekend for running and I feel much better than I did about my upcoming marathon.

Thank you all for your comments and encouragement!  I am so thankful I started this blog!!!

by

Another day off from running – Tough recovery week

I took yesterday off running as I said in my post yesterday.  It was a busy day anyway and I honestly would not have had time to run until evening, so it worked out.

I am actually considering taking today off also. I woke up this morning and was still sore all over.  This week is way off from my running plan anyway and so I may as well take advantage of my time and rest today and begin fresh tomorrow.

I am trying not to over analyze the situation in which I find myself.

Slowly but surely I am recovering and I hope and pray that this time off will be just what I need.  I must admit the difficulty of taking a few days off while training for a marathon in 2.5 months.  However my long runs have gotten shorter and more difficult and even my daily runs aren’t easy, so I figure my body needs this time to heal and get whole again.

Thank you for the emails and comments.

Encouragement is always a good thing and appreciated!!!

by

Running, obsession, and a midlife crisis

I’ve been feeling a bit lethargic about running lately.  I’m not sure why.  Don’t get me wrong, I still run 6 days a week and still do my workouts.  I think the warmer weather has made it harder to get outside and get going.  But it isn’t about wanting to run, it is about running.  If I only ran when I felt like it, I would probably run a couple days a week and eventually just stop.  To be honest, I get up at 3:30am, get to work by 5:30, leave work about 2:00pm, get home by 2:30, get running around 3:00, finish running about 4:00, cool down and take a shower by 4:30 and then I get a chance to rest.  It makes for a long day.

Someone asked me recently if I was obsessed with running.  I guess I am to some extent.  I really am not an obsessive person, but I think having a goal that I desperately want to meet has made me more obsessive.  Also, as I have written before, if I weren’t obsessive, I wouldn’t run.  I have to push myself and I like that I can do that.  I have only really pushed myself a couple times in my life.  Running has brought out an area of my life that I never knew I had, discipline.  So I run each day and thank God that I live in a country that gives me the freedom to do so.

Yesterday was Hill Run Thursday.  I decided to try and break my record for running up this huge quarter mile hill.  I have only done it 4 times in a row in the past, so I thought I would try to get to 5.  I put on my new Saucony Fastwitch shoes (which I love by the way) and did a 2 mile warmup.  Then the hill…  I ran up and down over and over.  In the end I actually ran 6 repeats of this hill – a new personal record.  I wasn’t trying to break any speed records, but I broke my record and my goal for running this hill.

As I was running home I thought to myself, having goals and meeting or exceeding them makes running (and life in general) much more fun.  It is when I have no goals or deadlines or challenges that my life becomes boring and plain.  Running gives me new goals almost weekly and I love it.  I love the challenge and the trill of running up a huge hill 6 times in a row (I never thought I’d say that).  I love running farther and faster.  I can’t wait for my marathon in September to see how far I have come.  Boston or not, I think I have come a long way since March 2012 when I started (my Nike Plus app tells me so anyway).

So in the end I don’t think I am obsessive about running.  I think that by the time I turned 49, I looked at myself and didn’t like what I saw.  I was obese, lazy, on a CPAP to breath at night.  I had a type of a midlife crisis.  I didn’t buy a fast car or try to “find myself”.  I just went for a run and never stopped.

Now that I am 50, I like who I am.  So if that is obsessive, then I guess I am obsessive.

But I think happy might be a better word.

by

Running has made me love the outdoors!

Yesterday was my off day from running to let my body recuperate, and my body needed that day.  Our workouts last week were the first I had done in a month or so and though it had positive effects on my running, my muscles didn’t like it much.

So yesterday I got home from work and went for a two mile walk.  It is funny how after running each day for a year now, I enjoy the outdoors for the first time since my childhood.  I had gotten into the routine of essentially being outside for a little as possible.  I’d go from my house to my car and from my car to my work and then eight hours later reverse that processes.  I hated to be outside.

Now, I am outside about an hour a day and I love it.  I think that because I decided to run in any weather (except for lightening), I have begun to enjoy all weather.  In the summer I really appreciate rain and wind, since it is so hot.  In the winter I appreciate the cold and the feeling after a mile or so of my body heating up under my running clothes like a furnace.  I really have learned to appreciate the days with moderate temperatures and no clouds in the sky.

I tend to learn from experience rather than from what people tell me.  Experience has taught me that being outside helps my mood.  Running does a lot of help for my mood also, don’t get me wrong.  But there is something about the outdoors, especially in the sun, that makes me feel better and seems to keep me healthier and happier.

Of course you don’t have to run to get outside and experience this feeling of, ahhhh.  But for me, running outside in all types of weather has made me a better person at home, at work and in general.

Okay, these are just my experience as I mentioned before.  But I have been challenging those I know who suffer from depression and health problems to just get out of the house.  One day, if it hasn’t been done already, researchers will prove that being outside and hour a day will make you healthier, happier and live longer.

Experience is a great teacher.

by

Is running an obsession?

This is the question I have been asking myself lately; is running an obsession for me?

Answer: Of course, it has to be!

What 49 year old would go outside 6 days a week and run the same route in rain, snow, cold or hot?  Who would do this for almost a year and take between 1 – 2 hours a day doing it?  Who would want to wake up in the morning and have the first feeling one of pain as they get out of the bed?

Running takes almost 100% of my free time.  Running makes my body hurt.  Running is boring.  Running pushes my cardiovascular system to the edge (sometimes).

If running weren’t an obsession, I WOULDN’T DO IT!

But let’s look at it from another perspective…

Running has helped me loose over 85 lbs.  Running helps me sleep better.  Running helps me deal with life’s stresses in a way I never had before.  Running has brought down my heart rate, blood pressure, blood sugar and in general added years onto my life.

Everyone has an obsession.  I am glad that running is mine.

I love running.

by

Running is cheaper than therapy (part II)

Yesterday was not a fun day.

Work was piling up.  My family has been sick.  It seemed all the world wanted something from me.

I love my work, but somedays are frustrating.  I thought of running after I got home, even though it was my off day.  Then my son was sick, so I took him to the doctor and didn’t get home until 4:00.  By then I was not in a good mood, even tough my lovely wife tried to cheer me up.

So I ran.  It was only 3 miles since it was my off day, but I ran an 8:09 pace which is good for me.

I wrote a post a while back about a bumper sticker that I saw that said, “Running is cheaper than therapy”.  Really, to be totally honest, running has become therapy to me.  Yes, I want to run races and to do well in them.  Yes, I want to run a marathon as my dad did in his 70’s.  But I realize that running helps me deal with life.  It helps me at work to be more efficient and productive.  It helps me at home to be less frustrated at normal circumstances.  It just helps.

Here is an article that says that running increases dopamine.

Health newstand says this about dopamine:

Dopamine is widespread in the brain as well as the rest of the nervous system. This neurotransmitter plays a critical role in the control of movement. It has a stimulating effect on the heart, the circulation, the rate of metabolism, and is able to mobilize many of the body’s energy reserves. It helps to modulate brain activity, control coordination and movement, and regulate the flow of information to different areas of the brain.  Dopamine is believed to release chemicals that allow us to feel pleasure (e.g., endorphins).

I’m not sure why I went in this direction with this post.  I guess I realize that my days are better when I run.  Is it chemical (dopamine, endorphins) or just the fact I am finally getting in shape and feel better about myself?  I don’t know.

This is what I do know…

I love running.