mental-health

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Running, hurt, better, running, happy

Somedays running can be ordinary.

Somedays you think your run was ordinary, but it really wasn’t.

Somedays running is fun and you feel like you can run forever.

Somedays you get two miles into a run and know you need to stop or risk getting hurt.

Monday I ran my 4 miles.

Tuesday I ram my 4 miles.

Wednesday I woke up and my ankle hurt so much I could barely walk.  Strange that I was fine during my Tuesday run.  Of course it was HOT and I was tired.  I hadn’t slept well the night before and the heat, though not as bad as at other times, just got to me.  I ended up walking several times.

So I woke up Wednesday and limped out of bed.  At work I had to walk slowly and favored my other foot.  It hurt so much, I wondered if I had sprained it.  I had visions of having to take weeks off of running and just keep weight off of it all together.  That afternoon I decided to walk through my neighborhood.  I figured it would work its way out of make it worse, but at least I’d know what I was up against.  So I walked a couple miles and headed home.  To be honest, it was better after a while.  I still couldn’t run on it, but I could walk without issue.

Yesterday I woke up and felt fine.  No pain.  No limp. All was well.

So I went for my run yesterday afternoon.  It was awesome.  Not only did my ankle feel fine, but I felt like I could run forever.  I ended up running 5 miles, which was longer then I’ve run in a long time.  I felt comfortable. It was cool outside (I love the polar vortex in the summer) and all was well with the world.

This morning I am back in the 184 range for my weight.  I have been creeping up past 184 off and on since my vacation.  184 is not where I want to be as a goal, but is acceptable to me, so that is good news.

Ultimately, somedays are good and some are bad.  I’ve said this before, but if you have a bad day, know that a good one is coming soon.  If you have a good day, don’t be shocked at the next bad day because it will happen.  That is the way we are made and that is life.

I’m glad I had a good day yesterday.  I really needed one.

Tom

 

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Running/mountains/life – the good, bad and the…

One thing I’ve learned since I began running in March of 2011… some days you feel like superman and some you don’t.

Yesterday TJ, RS and I went to the mountain to do our weekly run.  If you have read this blog at all over the past several months, you will know that I found this crazy road going up a mountain in our local state park.  I’ve run it many times now.  A few weeks ago, TJ coaxed me into going further past the top of the mountain.  There is a long hill that goes down and then a very steep climb up to the end of the road.  By the time we leave the car and make it back, we run about 7.5 miles on the mountain.

Back to my starting sentence.  Yesterday I didn’t feel like superman.  We started our run (RS likes to run alone, so he left after us) and my legs had no strength.  They honestly felt like rubber.  I kept racking my brain as to why this would be.  I hydrated well this weekend and last week.  I eat well.  I slept better then normal.  Also I walked Friday and took Saturday of.  I should have been smokin!

Not!

I figured by the time we got going my legs would wake up.  They didn’t.  I got to the top of the mountain and felt like I was on mile 20 of a marathon.  I was shot.  What kept me going?  Other then being almost 4 miles away from the car and running with TJ, I kept thinking to myself, “This will help my legs get used to running tired – like at mile 20 of a marathon”.

So I finished.  It wasn’t pretty, but I didn’t walk.  I pushed through.  To be honest, coming down the mountain was the worse!  I had to concentrate to keep my legs from giving way as we pounded down the steep inclines.

Running really does mirror life sometimes.  There are days when you wake up and you feel like you are at mile 20.  It is not only hard to get going, but it can be hard to keep going.  But we have to keep our eyes on the prize and push through.  Every up also has a down and every down has an up.  Life is never going to stay as good as you feel right now or as bad.  Life means change.  When you are tired, just keep going.  When you are happy, be thankful.  When you are sad, know that one day you will be happy again, whether you feel like you will be or not.

Before I sign off I want to congratulate RS who made it to the top of the mountain for the first time.  As we were coming back, we passed him.  I told him he made it and he said, “Really?”.  He didn’t know he had made it to the top!  Hmmm.  Seems like life also.  Sometimes we have everything we ever wanted, we make it to the top of the mountain and don’t even know that we have arrived.

Running/mountains/life.  Gotta love it!

Tom

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Running, heat, childhood and me

I am not a summer person.  I love the cold.  I’m originally from Pennsylvania and I don’t think I miss the cold winters, but I do remember the hot summers.  We would get into the 90s and we had no air conditioning.  I just had to sit and melt.  I learned then that heat was not my friend.  I can remember trying to sleep in my room at night with the window open and listening to the trucks on a far off highway… and sweating!  Fast forward to more recent times.  Before I began running, I would never go out in the summer.  The most I’d be outside was just enough to walk to my car.  I hated the heat – and I still do.  I love the fall.  I love the winter.  I love the spring.  I hate summer (which only begins tomorrow).

I started my run yesterday… 3:00 in the afternoon.  Five days in a row.  Four days of 100+ heat index.  The real temperature was in the mid 90s.

I got about 100 yards and turned back, went home, got on my headsets and decided to walk.

Honestly, until this week I’d only run 4 times in all of June.  So I am feeling good about my running at this point, heat included.  I ran my mountain for the second week in a row last Sunday and ran 4 miles in my neighborhood Monday – Wednesday.  Yesterday I ended up doing an even amount of running and walking.  My legs were shot and I only had 5 hours of sleep the night before.

On to a quick thought about the heat index.  Does anyone know how they decide what that is?  As a runner who hits the streets at 3:00 in the afternoon, I have a feeling that the heat coming up from the asphalt is about 100 degrees hotter then that index taken from some field in the shade.  Just sayin’.

Moving forward.  It was a the best week for me in about 2 months.  I have no idea why and I have no idea why the past two months have been so difficult.  I’m not going to question it anymore, I’m just glad to be feeling better.  Today is Friday and we have the whole weekend ahead of us.

Life is good better!

Tom

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It’s been a great run

This is hard to write.

I have honestly lost my inspiration for this blog.  I don’t know why exactly.  Perhaps it is some added pressure at work, or maybe the fact I’ve written for almost a year and a half about running – I mean really, how much can one person write about running?!?

So during my run yesterday, I decided to take a break from my blog.  It wasn’t a hard decision.  The past few weeks I would start to write and have to rewrite the same opening sentence 3 times before I finally either just close my browser or push through to something semi interesting to me.

The hard part isn’t taking a break.  The hard part is that I have met so many interesting and caring bloggers on this site.  When I started this blog, I wasn’t on social media.  I didn’t want to be.  I don’t do Facebook and only started a Twitter account after I started this blog.  I only told people I personally knew that I was doing this project.  But then, somehow, people started finding me.  I went from a handful of people following and viewing my posts, to hundreds.  On top of that, there are about 10 bloggers that I honestly could feel like I (somewhat) know through out interactions on their blogs and mine.  It has been a great run.

All good things must come to an end.  I will probably pick this back up.  Maybe in a week or so when pressures at work calm down, and maybe not.  I honestly don’t know. I want to enjoy writing and I also don’t want to just disappear without notice and allow my blog to languish and me feel guilty about not keeping it up.

So one last thank you!  I would name some of my favorite bloggers here, but then I would feel badly if I missed someone.

Maybe Marthoner, Running To Her Dreams, Pandora Viltis, Running on Healthy, Get Going – Get Running…

Okay, I just can’t keep going.  You all really do know who you are.  There are more people, but I don’t have time to write everyone’s names! You know who you are.  Some of you helped me through my marathon, some just found me recently.  Some have shown great concern for me in all my injuries and some really make me laugh and smile.

Please know I appreciate every like and comment I’ve gotten since January 2012 when I started this blog.  Also know I fully intend on coming back and continuing to write my journey.  I have doubts about ever qualifying for Boston as I get hurt after almost every race, but that is still my goal and every run I complete will put me closer.

Okay, enough already (I hear you say).

Have a great life.  Keep running.  Keep making me smile.

Tom

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The “Key” to Running Better

Over the past 20 years or so of my life, I have found out that in almost every difficult situation there is a “key” to making change happen.

What I am alluding to is that, for example, circumstances that are difficult in life can be like being in a pitch back room and continually running into walls with no way out.  The thing is that there is a door and a key to open that door near you .  All you need to know is how to get the key to turn and the door will open and things will suddenly work out.

This sounds philosophical, but honestly it is amazing how this works in everyday life, including running.

An example from my running life is the mountain I run.  I ran several times to the base of the mountain and at the left turn that went up the mountain, I turned around and went the other direction.  I got so close, but I didn’t know that the key to the door of running fast, more efficient and with less injury, was literally a left turn away from me.  It was like I was in a dark room with a door and a key, but I never unlocked that door and walked through until… one day with TJ.  We decided to see where that road went.  That left turn was the key that changed my running life in a way that nothing else has ever done!

Another example is Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV).  I wrote about this on this blog a month or two ago several times.  Not only has it helped my running in the afternoons by giving me something I had to have been missing, but over the past two months, my weight, which had plateaued at 192, has gone down 7 lbs to 185.  Even pizza night doesn’t seem to affect me much anymore.

I could go on and on.  In just about every area of my life this principle has helped.  I constantly pray for wisdom so that I can find the keys to shut doors in my life.

I guess I hope that there may be keys in your life to open doors to which you just haven’t paid attention.  It is an amazing feeling to find a key and suddenly realize there is a simple solution to a complex problem and it has been right in front of you!

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It gets complicated when I can’t run

Relax!

That is what I kept telling myself yesterday as I ran.  Relax and run easy.

I hadn’t run since before the snow last week.  After getting home and realizing I injured my back by my antics at work (sleeping on the floor, walking in the ice, falling on the ice, etc), I had to hold off running.  That is not a good thing for me.

I think because I run  5 – 6 days a week, if I go a few days without running my emotions take a dive.  I don’t know if it is the lack of endorphins or just lack of sleeping well, but I become a monster emotionally.  Just angry with the world and everything in the world.

Sunday was another one of “those” days.  I just had to leave.  I went for a 2 hour walk and ended up in a park and sat for an hour.  Actually that seemed to help get me back a little.  It was a rough day and I could feel it from the moment I woke up.  One week without running makes one weak, if you ask me.

Monday I just didn’t feel like running.  My hip was bothering me.  I decided to take “the dog” out for a walk.  That was nice, but it bothered me that I didn’t want to run.  It isn’t like I love my runs, but I love the aftereffect.  The peace.  The satisfaction of finishing a run.

Finally, yesterday I ran.  I got in 4.25 miles under a 9:00 pace.  I feel better.  I like that feeling after I run of my lungs breathing in full and easy.  I like the peace I feel and the fact that after two years, a run still finishes my day.

So I guess I am back again to my running days.  This crazy weather has been playing havoc with my hip, but I just relax and run easy and that helps (going back to how I started this post).

Relax.  Enjoy.  Run.  Be happy.

Sometimes I make life too complicated.

Tom

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7 mile Christmas day run!

I hope everyone had a great Christmas, as I did.  It was wonderful to spend time with my family and see my youngest child finally get his license.  He is a cautious driver and I’m glad to have a new chauffeur in the house. 🙂

Running

I had  a great run yesterday with TJ.  We ran last Christmas in the cold and rain, but yesterday was sunny and 48 degrees.  Not a bad day for a run.

So after all the food of the morning, we headed out at lunchtime for a 3 mile run. Two days earlier I had to stop a run after 2 miles because my hip was hurting me too much.  It was also very cold and windy and I knew I was tensing up.  So I took Christmas Eve off and then headed out with TJ for a slow easy run.

We decided to run the route of a 5K we ran in our neighborhood last spring. It isn’t normally a run we can do since part of the run is on a busy, narrow 2 lane road, but being Christmas day, we thought it would be safe.

It was a good run and we talked quite a bit about my hip and how I could run more and not get hurt.  As we ran, we walked up steep hills since they are painful to me.  We also ran at a good pace for recovery.  We averaged about 10:50 pace which is about 2 minutes slower than my normal winter pace.

After the three miles were up we decided to run a short trail behind our house.  This is a flat, easy trail.  More like a managed mile long park then a trail.  Anyway, we finished that two mile trail and headed home.  Nope.  By the time we got home, TJ mentioned that just one more mile and we would be at the mileage we ran last Christmas (7 miles), so we headed out for one more.  We finished at 7 miles in 1:13:50.

Okay, here is the significance of this run.

I haven’t run 7 miles or over 70 minutes since my marathon in September.  On top of that I really felt great.  Very little hip pain and only a moment of pain from my heel spur.  I felt so great after this run.  Christmas day, beautiful weather, a fun time with my second oldest son and the longest run in nearly 4 months.

Today I’m sore, but not doing badly.  I have twinges from my hip, but overall feel great.  I may walk this afternoon rather than run, just to play it safe. I’ll see after I get home from work.

So thank TJ for a fun run and a confidence booster.  Oh – and for Christmas TJ said he’d pay for my next marathon.  Although I don’t know when that will be, it was such a great gift.

Life is good and I’m definitely feeling better about things.

Slow and steady.

I will be back.

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Running closer

I’m feeling better today.  Yesterday was a pretty rough day and knowing that my hip was not better really made it difficult.

I got home and walked 3 miles.  It was nice out and I had a good walk.

I realize that my SI joint seems to be loosening up and my pain is down about 80% this morning.  I plan on walking for the next few days just to make sure I don’t over do it.

Thanks everyone for the advice and encouragement.  In the past 17 months, running has really become a part of my identity.  I don’t think I would have stuck with it if it hadn’t.  The issue with that is when it is taken away for a period of time, it really messes with me.  I know many of you have gone through the same thing.

Have a great day, and run a mile for me. 🙂

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A good run on a bad day

Have you ever had one of “those days”?

Yesterday was one of “those days” for me.  No issue with anyone in particular.  My work went well and my family was well, but I felt lousy. Angry. Bugged. Unhappy.  Really there was no reason for my mood.  I guess it was just a Monday.

So what could I do? I got home from work and ran as hard as I could. Well not as hard as I could, but hard.

My first mile is usually a warmup mile and not very fast, but yesterday it was run at 8:01 and half of that was up hill (of course the other half was down hill 🙂 ).

photoSunday and yesterday was the first time since March that had two consecutive days under an 8:15 pace per mile.  It really did feel good.  I pushed my run hard for the first two miles making the second mile at a 7:34 pace.  The third mile was slower and I was tired.  However, I was able to keep my pace at 8:46 and the fourth mile at 8:29.  Finally the last small part of my run (about a tenth of a mile) I sprinted at my 5K pace of 7:12.

This is what was so hard about last week.  I had no outlet.  I had no way to work off my mood.  I just had to walk and suffer through.  To be honest for most of my marathon training I wasn’t able to really push my workouts.  It was so hot and humid that I had to take things slow.

Now I feel like things are getting back to normal.  I doubt I’ll keep this pace up.  8:12 for 4 miles is a goal pace, but the heat is returning this week and also my left achilles and top of my right foot aren’t the best.   Still it is good to know that I still have strong running in me.  And with a 10K a month away, I really want to work up to 6 miles at an 8:00 pace.

It is strange to be almost a month removed from my marathon and having so many other blogs I read with people just beginning their taper.  Once again, good luck to you all.  I’m pulling for you!

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How do you deal with a bad day when you can’t run?

Yesterday was a particularly rough day.  It was one of those days where you know that a good run is “better than therapy”.   One of those days where you would barely get out of the door with your running gear on before you are off running as hard as you can just to get the junk out of your head.

For me, yesterday was a day of frustration.  Yes, the day was difficult, but the frustrating part of the day was the fact I can’t run until Friday.

Seriously?!?

I could have set a PR.  I could have run so hard and so long.  I could have run off the day.  I could have saved my mind and my body a lot of stress if I could just have gone for a run.

I walked.

I walked for hours.

I walked along highways with no shoulders.  At times I was inches from cars on a two lane road.  I had to leave the neighborhood and there aren’t many areas to walk nearby and I didn’t want to drive somewhere.  I was careful though and most of the time stayed a few feet from the traffic.  Cars were considerate and moved over for me when they could.  At one point I slipped on pine straw, but I caught myself and was fine.

Finally after miles of walking I headed home.  This walk helped.  I’m glad I could walk and I am thankful I am in shape.  I had no fear of doing “too much”.  I just walked off my day.

I miss my running.  I think some of my problems from the day was the fact I haven’t really run much in the past month.  I was hurt the week before my marathon so I didn’t run.  I was too sore to run (or even walk) the week after my marathon.  Now I had to take a week off for other reasons.  I guess I’m having endorphin withdrawal.  🙂

Tomorrow my hiatus from running is over.  I can run as much as I want.  I already have a 6 mile run planned with my friend Neill on Saturday.  I’m looking forward to that.

We take so much for granted in this life.  I never knew how much of my mental well-being was tied up in running.  I never knew until yesterday how much I NEED running.  I have been transformed into a runner and I cannot go back.