Health

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Running, obsession, and a midlife crisis

I’ve been feeling a bit lethargic about running lately.  I’m not sure why.  Don’t get me wrong, I still run 6 days a week and still do my workouts.  I think the warmer weather has made it harder to get outside and get going.  But it isn’t about wanting to run, it is about running.  If I only ran when I felt like it, I would probably run a couple days a week and eventually just stop.  To be honest, I get up at 3:30am, get to work by 5:30, leave work about 2:00pm, get home by 2:30, get running around 3:00, finish running about 4:00, cool down and take a shower by 4:30 and then I get a chance to rest.  It makes for a long day.

Someone asked me recently if I was obsessed with running.  I guess I am to some extent.  I really am not an obsessive person, but I think having a goal that I desperately want to meet has made me more obsessive.  Also, as I have written before, if I weren’t obsessive, I wouldn’t run.  I have to push myself and I like that I can do that.  I have only really pushed myself a couple times in my life.  Running has brought out an area of my life that I never knew I had, discipline.  So I run each day and thank God that I live in a country that gives me the freedom to do so.

Yesterday was Hill Run Thursday.  I decided to try and break my record for running up this huge quarter mile hill.  I have only done it 4 times in a row in the past, so I thought I would try to get to 5.  I put on my new Saucony Fastwitch shoes (which I love by the way) and did a 2 mile warmup.  Then the hill…  I ran up and down over and over.  In the end I actually ran 6 repeats of this hill – a new personal record.  I wasn’t trying to break any speed records, but I broke my record and my goal for running this hill.

As I was running home I thought to myself, having goals and meeting or exceeding them makes running (and life in general) much more fun.  It is when I have no goals or deadlines or challenges that my life becomes boring and plain.  Running gives me new goals almost weekly and I love it.  I love the challenge and the trill of running up a huge hill 6 times in a row (I never thought I’d say that).  I love running farther and faster.  I can’t wait for my marathon in September to see how far I have come.  Boston or not, I think I have come a long way since March 2012 when I started (my Nike Plus app tells me so anyway).

So in the end I don’t think I am obsessive about running.  I think that by the time I turned 49, I looked at myself and didn’t like what I saw.  I was obese, lazy, on a CPAP to breath at night.  I had a type of a midlife crisis.  I didn’t buy a fast car or try to “find myself”.  I just went for a run and never stopped.

Now that I am 50, I like who I am.  So if that is obsessive, then I guess I am obsessive.

But I think happy might be a better word.

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Day off yesterday, long run in the rain today

I took yesterday off for obvious reasons if you read any of my posts this week (other than Friday).  It has been a difficult week running and I figured that since I only planned 4 miles yesterday, it would be good just to give my body a break.

Today is my long run day.  I planned 12, I hope to make 13.  It is going to be raining pretty consistently the entire run.  I never look forward to running when it is raining, however I usually run better in the rain for some reason.  Well I run better until my shoes get wet and heavy, but you can’t have everything.

I’ve had my water, eggs and banana, so I am good to go.

Here’s to a great run today (he says as he heads out the door)…  I hope.

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Sometimes the hard runs are the most important – Never give up!

Wow, yesterday’s post was the most popular ever on this blog!  It is so funny, as I had originally written about my horrible run and then decided to delete the post and write something positive.  There is a lot of good in running and it doesn’t depend on how you feel.  In fact, I would say that most of the time I don’t feel great while running.  Weeks like this week make me wonder why I run.  But I must say, even though this week has been a rough run week, I still went out and ran.  Even though I felt like my legs are full of concrete, I still did my 7 miles a day.  That is why running is so important to me.  It builds endurance, perseverance, patience and determination.  These are qualities I didn’t have a year ago when I started.  But now I look at my world through these qualities.

Yesterday was another “ugh” run.  I decided early on that I would mute my iSmoothRun app and just run at whatever pace I wanted to run.  In fact, in the beginning I told myself that I would run the slowest run I have ever run, just to take the pressure out of it.  It didn’t help much.  By mile 3 I was ready to head home and cut my losses.  Then I thought that I could just run one more mile.  Then I ran another.  By that time I was far enough away from home that I ran home and hit my goal of 7 miles at my driveway.

Here are my thoughts on why this has been a difficult week for me.  Yes it has been hot.  Yes it has been humid.  Those things will make a huge difference, but I don’t think that is why my running has been off.  The reason I think it has been a rough week running is because I am not 30 anymore.  What I mean by that is, a 30 year old can run 14 days in a row and not feel it as much.  A 50 year old, not so much.  As you may recall, on my Monday off day, TJ and I went for a 4 mile run.  Not only that, but we ran 2 miles in a hilly neighborhood.  Not only that, but I went for a 2 mile walk that afternoon.  That was my off day.  Now I am paying for it.

Going back to the beginning of this post.  Even though my legs hurt, my knees hurt, my hips hurt and each step is difficult, I still go out each afternoon and run.  I have to.  It is engrained into me now.  Tomorrow is only a 4 mile day, so I have decided ahead of time to take it off so that I will feel better by my long run day on Sunday.  Looking back, 2 years ago I couldn’t even get out of a chair to take a walk.  A year ago, I was running 2 miles in 24 minutes.  Yesterday I was disappointed at running 7 miles in 1:03.

Yes, I am thankful for all I’ve learned over the past year.  I am thankful for each of the 1,300 miles I’ve run since a year ago last March.  Everything has changed and most of it is good.  Not many people can say that they feel the best, are in the best shape and are the healthiest when they turn 50.

I just hope it continues.

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Keeping a positive attitude after a negative run

Yesterday was another rough run!

It was hot, humid and I was tired.  But rather than going on and on about how difficult my run was, I decided to look to the positive and think of why I am thankful.  I learned from my mom over the years that being positive is always better than being negative.

So here I go…

  • I am thankful that I am able to run.
  • I am thankful that even on hot days, I can come home from work, put on my running shoes and head out the door.
  • I am thankful that my lovely wife and kids encourage me on this journey, even though it takes up more and more time.
  • I am thankful for my mother and brothers and friends who are excited to see my progress with my running and weight loss.
  • I am thankful that I have kids who also run and are excited about it with me.
  • I am thankful for TJ running who runs with me at times.  Without him today, I would have given up much earlier.
  • I am thankful that I have been running for over a year and never gotten hurt.
  • I am thankful that I have gotten a lot of people from work (with family and friends) to run the 5K with me in May.
  • I am thankful that I have lost 100 lbs since the height of my weight gain (and kept it off).
  • I am thankful that I am alive and healthier than I’ve been for most of my life.
  • I am thankful that I have gone from obese to (soon) running marathons in just a couple of years.

Yesterday’s run was hard.  In fact this week has been one hard run after another.  But looking beyond a difficult week,  I am thankful that I can run.  It has been a dream since I was 18 and now 32 years later it is a reality.  I am also thankful for this blog and the people who read it each day.  It has been so rewarding and has helped inspire me to run harder and work to excel in this sport.  I may or may not ever be known to the running community as anyone, but for now, I am thankful that I am a part of this community and for the support of my family, friends, and fellow bloggers and Tweeters.

What are you thankful for?

Think about it the next time you have a rough day at the very thing to which you look forward.  Running has taught me that every up hill I face, there is a down hill coming soon.  Don’t give up.  Just be thankful.

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A new blog name to reflect my story and a thank you!

You may have noticed that I now have a domain name, 278toBoston.com. Of course you can still get to me via runat49.wordpress.com.

Those who follow this blog know that less than two years ago I weighed 278 lbs. I was pre diabetic and on a CPAP. My breathing was so bad while I slept that my oxygen level got down to 60% and I had over 100 times an hour that I would stop breathing for at least 10 seconds. Let’s just say, my life wasn’t going is a good direction health wise. According to my mom, my grandfather died in his mid 50’s from a heart attack and was my same stature and weight.

One day back then I decided to try running which I had tried in the past but always stopped after a month or two. I ran a quarter mile and had to turn around and limp home.

It was truly the grace of God that brought me from there to here. I met the right doctor, I went on the right diet, I started running at the right time, I never had an injury that took more than a day or so to get over. Everything fell into place. Why now? I don’t know. I think it was so that I could appreciate where I came from, the journey to where I am and also look forward to where I am going.

I want to help inspire people with the fact that if I can do this, so can they. I haven’t excelled at much in life. I am average, ordinary and very fortunate to have found the perfect wife for me and to have raised great kids. Their support and, as I said earlier, the grace of God, brought me here.

Where is here? 95 lbs lighter and I run 35 – 45 miles a week. My ultimate goal is to qualify this fall for the Boston Marathon and to one day run the Boston Marathon. All this within just a few years.

I have changed my blog name to “278 to Boston” because that is my journey, vision and goal summed up in 3 words (I guess I should say 3 numbers and two words :)). I want everyone who comes to this blog to know that it is possible in just a few years to go from being obese to running marathons. They can look in the mirror and be thankful. They can get beyond high blood pressure, pre diabetes and high cholesterol and can succeed in becoming a healthy person once again.

If I can do it, anyone can do it!

Thank you to everyone who reads this blog and gives me encouragement. I have only been blogging for a few months, but it has added a whole new level of support to my life.

Finally, I am an IT guy who doesn’t do much social media. I have my reasons. However yesterday I did sign up for a twitter account where I will post articles that I find helpful, inspiring quotes and my daily run log. I hope to link it to my blog when I get a chance, but you can find it at @278toBoston. Catch, huh!

I hope I have encouraged some who read this as I have been encouraged by the blogs I follow and read.

Thank you!

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The running/carbs balance – Ugh

Today is a much needed day off.  I ran a lot last week and I feel it.  The good news is that my hip hasn’t been hurting much and I am still taking no meds for pain!!!  The bad news is that I carbed out over the weekend.  Yes, I eat Pizza and a couple cupcakes and…  I won’t go on, you get the picture.

As I was running Thursday and Friday, I could feel that my carbs were low.  Those runs we not easy and I felt like I was doing everything I could just to keep going.  Friday night I bought the family some pizza.  I was famished. I had 5 pieces.  The rest of the weekend, I didn’t do much better.

I gained 4 lbs over the weekend.  I assume some will leave if I eat well this week, but with 2 work lunches and a work breakfast on the calendar this week, it is going to be hard.

Anytime I hit a wall, I try to figure out how to get over that wall.  My plan this time is to eat my low carb diet this week, but eat 1 whole wheat bagel each day.  These bagels got an A- on my Fooducate app, so I thought I’d give them a try.  My thought here is that one bagel a day will give me enough carbs that I won’t go crazy by the weekend and I can continue running without feeling like my legs are going to collapse.  Since today is my day off, I won’t eat one today, but starting tomorrow, I am going to give it a try and see if I can’t reach some type of balance.

I hate this whole running/dieting thing.  According to my app, I used up 1,400 calories in my run yesterday, and I still gained 2 lbs from what I eat.  This is crazy if you ask me – which you didn’t – which is why I am writing about it in my blog in order to blow off some steam.

Thanks for listening – reading – whatever.

Ultimately, balance is the key.  It is the key to life, running, eating, sleeping, just about everything.  I hope I can figure out the balance between eating and running.  If anyone has ever been successful in this area, let me know.

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I’m philosophical about running today

I run because I want to run, not because anyone is making me or because it gives me a great “high”.  I run because my family needs me to live longer than a few more years.  I run because it makes me feel better about myself.  I run because it gets me away for a few minutes with few distractions beyond the neighborhood kids playing football in the yard or the cars that move over to give me room.

I choose to run.

A few days ago I learned that a colleague I had met with several times in another state passed away.  He was much younger than me and probably much smarter than me.  It was a shock, even though I didn’t know him well.  That has made me a bit more philosophical lately.  He was young and very successful in his line of work.  He had a wife.  He was a nice guy, at least from my interactions with him.  What does this have to do with running?

No one knows what will happen tomorrow, today or even in the next minute.  Life is what I make it by the grace and provision of God.

I don’t want to die saying I had no goals.  I don’t want to leave this world at 278 lbs and having a heart attack because I couldn’t spare the time to work out.  A lot of people plan on working out, running, walking or just getting into shape.  I planned on it every day as I approached the 300 lbs mark.  I never knew my grandfather because he died, overweight and in his 50’s.  I don’t want to be that person.  So I run.

Maybe I am a bit introspective today.  I thank God everyday that I get to live and make the choice to stay home, love my lovely wife and be with my kids.  I thank God that I am a 100 lbs lighter today than I was 18 months ago.  I thank God that I can get out each day and run 5-10 miles.  I really don’t enjoy the run, but that isn’t the reason I love running.

I love running because I can run. I have the freedom to run.  I have the health to run.  I can have the freedom and heath to believe that I can qualify for the Boston Marathon next year.

Who knows their future.  I don’t.  I don’t know if I will even be able to write this blog tomorrow.  I THANK GOD that I am able to write this and didn’t pass away this past week.  My colleague probably would have appreciated the same opportunities.  He didn’t get them.

I run for Him.  Good or bad, I am going to make the most of every opportunity.

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Updates on running and dieting

Training has been a bit hard lately.  Not too bad, but I’ve increased my mileage this week quite a bit from last week.  Most people say to only increase 10% over your previous week, but I am trying to get back to my 35 – 45 miles a week.  I figure that I was only out of running 2 weeks, so it really shouldn’t be that big of a jump to go from last week (my first week back) running 23 miles to this week running 35 miles.  Overall it has gone well.  I am back to sub 8:30 pace and am taking no anti inflammatories or fish oil.  I really am trying to run without any meds now that I am in the low 180s in weight.  So far so good.  I am a little sore, and have a little hip pain, but that is all.

Next week I begin training to run my next 5K.  TJ has some workouts for me to do that he has been doing since last week.  I have just over 2 months to be able to bring my 5K time to 20:00.  As I’ve said before, this is my goal and I hope to achieve it, but if I don’t, that’s okay.  I just need something to shoot for that will motivate me to do these workouts.  Also, these workouts will help my overall running time and that will be crucial as we kick into training for our marathon beginning in July.

Just an FYI on my weight.  I finished my diet at 177.  I got as high as 183 over the weekend which was rather depressing.  So this week, I have worked hard at trying to stay away from the carbs.  The main carb I eat is a piece of bread before I run, which seems to really help.  So I am, as of this morning, back down to 180.  That is exciting since I was afraid my body was dictating that it wanted to go back to the high 180s.  I hope to get back in the mid 170s if only to keep my hips and back out of pain and not need to go back on pain meds.

Keeping motivated!

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4 mile run – better than dieting

Three days this week I ran 3 miles a day.  Three days this week I gained 1 lb each day.  So 3 runs and 3 lbs gained.  Hmmm.  I am not eating poorly.  Of course I am eating more than when I was on the diet, but I could never run without some food and carbs.

Yesterday was my 4th run of the week.  I ran 4 miles rather than 3.  I am gradually increasing my mileage this week and going to try running a normal week next week.  It was a good run with some hip pain in the beginning, but the pain went away as I concentrated on relaxing and my keeping my running form.

This is the interesting part.  I lost a half pound when I weighed in this morning.  The reason it is interesting is that I remember last summer as I graduated from 3 miles to 4, I began loosing weight.  Each day I ran 4, I lost some. Each day I ran 3, I didn’t.  Now yesterday I ran 4 and lost weight.  I don’t know what that one mile means, but 4 seems to be the magic number for me to loose weight running.

All that to say, when I was running 5 to 7 miles a day and 10 on Sunday, I rarely lost any weight.  It was always confusing to me.  I think that at that mileage, my body is trying to hold onto fat since it knows I will need it for my runs.  That is the only reason I can come up with as to why I can run 40 miles in a week and sometimes gain weight.

Today is a 4 mile run.  I’ll be interested to see if I loose weight in the morning.  At least I am back under 180.  I don’t want to go back to the 190’s.  Right now I am off all meds and for the first time in a long time my blood pressure is down to normal.

I’d say my 2 weeks off and my diet was a good idea.  I love wisdom!!